


Partner Problems

by RaeTheStar



Series: Hermitcraft Oneshots [17]
Category: Hermitcraft
Genre: Gen, Literally every hermit, and Bdubs and Keralis weren’t here, back when Biffa was active
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-10-21 11:59:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20693165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaeTheStar/pseuds/RaeTheStar
Summary: The annual Partner Problem event has rolled around again, and everyone is participating in the shenanigans this year!





	Partner Problems

"Welcome every-hermit! To the annual Partner Problem event! This is our first year getting everyone to play, so welcome!" X smiled as the crowd of hermits below him cheered. "I'll explain the rules for the newbies."

"I will draw two names out of a helmet. Those two people will be fitted with curse of binding boots, which magically link the pair. These boots will force you to stay within 3 meters, or 10 feet, of each other. You will wear the boots for 24 hours, and then the spell will dissolve. Make sense?"

Heads bobbed in agreement.

"Then let's begin!" X picked up the helmet at his feet, shuffling the papers inside. "Zedaph..."

Zed jumped, excitedly looking around for who his partner might be.

"...and Welsknight!"

There were assorted congratulations as Wels and Zed found each other, grinning excitedly.

"Alright, quiet down! Next up: Tango and Iskall!"

Laugher and groans. The two pranksters high-fived, already whispering mischievously.

"Stress and Grian! False and Jevin! Scar and Python!" X rattled off the names, each greeted with excitement. "Me and Cub! Cleo and Mumbo! Impulse and Joe! Docm and biffa! Rendog and TFC! And that's everyone! Line up to get your boots, and thanks for coming out!" X glided down from his make-shift pedestal, throwing open a chest full of glowing leather boots.

The hermits filed through with their partners, pulling on their new boots and testing the limits. Slowly, the plateau emptied, everyone heading their ways for the day.

—

"Work with me here, love!" Stress laughed, trying to pull Grian away from the store window.

"Sorry! They made a new tnt, and this one is player-friendly!" Grian hopped up, beaming as he returned to Stress' side.

"We can check it out after I return Impulse's backup elytra he let me borrow. It's been a couple weeks and I need to return them!"

"What ho, and salutations!" Joe waved as he and Impulse appeared over the ridge.

"Hi Joe! Impulse! How are you doing?”

"Really well! We're taking turns picking the pass time, so it's been fine."

"We were just on our way to Impulse's home behind the sea foam." Joe gestured in the direction of Impulse's bay area.

"How delightful! Well, I just wanted to return your elytra I borrowed. Thanks again!" Stress handed over the wings, which Impulse accepted gratefully.

"I was wondering where I left those, thanks!"

"Okay, can we go look at the tnt now?" Grian shifted back and forth, glancing back at the tnt.

"Fine. As long as we can go ice mining later for my castle." Stress threw a humorous look at Joe and Impulse as Grian rushed back to the storefront. "Bye!"

"Those two must be having a ball." Joe remarked as he and Impulse calmly continued their stroll.

—

"So this is the vault, huh?" Ren gaped as TFC led him down.

"Sure is."

"Wow... It's so big..."

"Thanks, I've put a lot of time into it."

"Tin, how did you find the time to do all this?" Ren peeked through a door, taking everything in.

"I've just cracked down and worked hard, that's all." TFC pulled some stone out of a chest without slowing his walk, heading for the next room he needed to finish.

"Woah, that was slick! You didn't even stop walking, you just grabbed that stone, like Whoosh!" Ren exclaimed, swooping his hand through the air.

"Oh, you know it. This way."

The large vault narrowed to a corridor, which the two squeezed through, reaching a decent-sized room, half excavated. Tin set right to work, mining at the wall with one hand and picking up the stone with the other. The older man relaxed in his element, killing a zombie without hesitation when it crept up on him. Ren simply watched in awe at the grace. He was startled out of his trance, however, when TFC tugged on their binding boots.

"I gotta put some stuff away, come on."

Ren followed slowly. "That was crazy. Like, you were just mining, but it was like a dance! Does that make sense? We don't need to go to my base later, we can just stay here for all 24 hours! Can I help?"

Tin rubbed his temples as he tossed the last of the stone in a chest. "You can have the most important job of all."

Ren perked up. "The most important?!"

"Hold these." Tin shoved a bunch of shulker boxes into his arms.

TFC set back to work, tossing the stone into the boxes as he went. Ren didn't mind holding the stone- he was just glad to be part of the process.

"This is fantastic! Why don't we hang out more often? You're so cool Tin!" Ren babbled on in excitement over the menial labor.

"Hey Ren-" TFC quickly cut in. "If you don't talk, I'll do something cool."

Ren gasped loudly, and sealed his lips. Tin shook his head, silently laughing as he dual-wielded a second pickaxe, blowing Ren's mind.

—

Well hullo!" Cleo and Mumbo waved as they approached Scar and Python. The two were sitting in the grass outside Scar's terraforming shop, flower crowns and necklaces all around them.

"Heya! How are you two?" Scar greeted as Mumbo and Cleo sat next to them.

"Pretty good! Neither of us had a whole lot to do, so we're visiting everyone else. What are you doing?" Cleo picked at the grass.

"We've been making flower chains! Wanna learn how?" Python displayed the chain he was currently working on.

"Absolutely!"

The four hermits soaked up the sun as they weaved flower crowns, half-asleep from its warmth and sweet aroma. At some point, False and Jevin stumbled by, tears of laughter streaming down their faces.

"How's it going?" Scar giggled, already knowing the answer.

"Could be better-" False wheezed, wiping her tears. "May we-?"

Jevin and False tripped over each other and collapsed in a pile of giggles. The group talked and laughed for hours, while the sun slowly fell. The stars twinkled into sight, and they fell asleep stargazing.

—

"Alright," Tango breathed. Iskall nodded, and they slowly dipped their wings in sync. After practicing all day, they were finally coordinated enough to cause some mischief.

Two glowing dots walked the grounds outside the newest ConCorp studio- two hermits holding torches in the night.

"Cub and X?" Iskall whispered into the dark. Tango nodded, pulling out a stack of eggs.

"Ready... GO!"

Cackling loudly, Iskall and Tango pelted the ground with eggs, watching X and Cub dance away from them. One figure glanced up, spotting the pair in the air, and shook their fist dramatically.

"You're not even Poultry man!" X's voice called after them, but they were already flying away.

"Fan-frickin-tastic!" Iskall howled.

"They thought we were poultry man!" Tango slapped his leg. The wild excitement distracted him, and Tango wobbled before plummeting to the earth.

"Gah!!" Iskall spammed rockets, desperate to stay in the air. However, Tango's limp body dragged him down, and the two splashed into the water violently. The sounds of drowneds instantly lit a fire under them, and they paddled tiredly to the shore.

"Hehe, worth it." Iskall wiped his hair from his face, sand getting everywhere.

Tango panted as he collapsed on the sand. "Absolutely."

—

"Huzzah!" Zedaph triumphantly held up the blue parrot. He and Wels had been searching the jungle for hours, and this was the first bird they found. They were tired and bruised, but it was worth it.

"Did you hear that?" Wels whispered.

Zed rolled his eyes. "For the last time, Wels, it was probably an ocelot. We can sail home if you'd feel better about it?"

"Yes please!" Wels sighed in relief as they made their way to the shore. The rustle of leaves behind them made Wels jump again. "Let's go." He glanced over his shoulder as he pulled out a boat.

"SNEAK ATTACK!" Doc and Biffa lunged from the bushes, diamond swords drawn. Their armor and faces were coated with mud and leaves, their binding boots streaked with war paint. Somebody screeched (Zedaph) and everything happened all at once.

Suddenly, the attack was over as soon as it started. Biffa ran too far ahead of Doc, and the two tumbled into the sand at Zed's feet.

Doc looked up bashfully, his helmet falling from his head. "Fancy meeting you here.."

Zed blinked. "...Well now I don't think this is a coincidence, us meeting in the jungle like this, you crying Sneak Attack!! But okay!" Zed laughed, releasing his tension.

"I suppose our mission was a failure, then?" Biffa sighed with a grin.

"I suppose so- but you did scare Wels pretty well!" Zed patted Wels on the head, as he had fallen over in his freight.

"I told you so!!"


End file.
